After literally weeks of badgering, I finally gave in and took Emma to the Stockport Hat Museum at the weekend.
She was so excited on the train over there that I had to tell her the man was going to tell her off. This period after Christmas is so difficult when you can’t threaten them with “the naughty list” any more.
Stockport Hat Museum is probably one of the top 3 hat museums in all of Cheshire. They’ve got fashion headgear, ceremonial head-dresses, gents toilets, the lot.
"Having a lovely time, wish you were here, Swiss x"
The first floor with your hats around the world and such was pretty good, but downstairs where they have the real machines used for turning wool and beaver fur (ah yes, and rabbit too) into finished Homburgs and Bowlers is where its at.
I won’t ruin the surprise if you ever decide to go, but it turns out that making a hat takes forever. You could make a fully-functional mechanical Owl in less time than it takes to put a titfer together.
Emma- "Shall I wear this for Dingle's wedding?" Swiss- "Only if you can get it in your pocket"
(Titfer means hat)
Stockport Hat Museum, Stockport
Free admission for adults, Kids half price.
With it’s feet firmly in the feet of the 21st Century, the Ian Allan bookshop has got bloody hundreds of DVDs. The one they were showing a preview of when I was in was a cab ride in some kind of rubbish train.
I’ll be honest, it wasn’t for me. I actually find the explicit promises of hardcore train action a bit unsettling (“Filmed in 16:9 widescreen in fine weather and with the full co-operation of DRS…”). No sooner had I put it down though when I wandered over to the aviation section where there was a two-disc set dedicated to the legendary Kai-Tak airport in colonial Hong Kong.
As I gripped the case between my sweaty palms and read about the famous curved approach and dramatic cross-wind landings, I felt a deep residual itch inside of me being scratched.
Each to their own I say, each to their own.
On the approach to Pickled Willy station in Manchester, there is a shop called Ian Allan.
I only mention it, because it is The Greatest Shop In The World.
They sell books (DVDs, magazines etc.) which are mostly connected to transport or engineering.
You know that feeling when you need a biography of Isambard Kingdom Brunel, but the stupid bookshop you’re in only has one or two? At this place they’ve got hot and cold running Brunel bios.
Or is it a monthly magazine about the tramways of Salford (1973-75) that you’re after? Well then you’ve come to the right place my friend.
When 90% of your clientele are autistic, it pays to be specific on signage
Bit weird that, I was just buying a Double Decker (72p now, don’t get me started..) when the guy told me I could have 2 for a pound.
“You’re on”
“Just pick it up on your way out. Next please!”
So I walked over, picked up a chocolate bar and walked out. None of the people who saw me pick up the bar and walk out knew I’d paid for it, and yet no-one wrestled me to the ground and performed a citizen’s arrest. Shame on you, people of Britain.
In unrelated news, the January diet is going well.
Heyup.
One of the most embarrassing parts of my Christmas / New Year break (other than getting horribly, horribly wasted in front of Emma’s sister on NYE and having to apologise via text on new year’s day) was a pop quiz at my brother’s.
The first round of the quiz was to name the top 10 selling singles of 2010. In past years (probably around 1993) I would have been able to do that without any prompting, but this year Quizmaster Andy played clips of the actual songs and I could still only name 3 of them.
OK, OK, 2. With help.
My 12 year old nephew Jamie was there, and I swear at one point I could actually see a part of him dying when he realised that his “cool Uncle James” is actually a sad old bald guy who doesn’t even have any Taio Cruz on his black & white iGramophone.
Here’s the list- would you have done any better?
| 1 |
|
|
|
Eminem |
Love The Way You Lie (feat. Rihanna) |
| 2 |
|
|
|
Matt Cardle |
When We Collide |
| 3 |
|
|
|
Bruno Mars |
Just The Way You Are (Amazing) |
| 4 |
|
|
|
Usher |
OMG (feat. will.i.am) |
| 5 |
|
|
|
Owl City |
Fireflies |
| 6 |
|
|
|
Rihanna |
Only Girl (In The World) |
| 7 |
|
|
|
B.o.B |
Airplanes (feat. Hayley Williams) |
| 8 |
|
|
|
Katy Perry |
California Gurls (feat. Snoop Dogg) |
| 9 |
|
|
|
Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP |
We No Speak Americano |
| 10 |
|
|
|
Helping Haiti |
Everybody Hurts |
As celebrity tie-ins go, this is up there with Krusty-Brand Home Pregnancy Test (“May cause birth defects”).
This guy's face is the only contraception I need.
I don’t know much about JLS, but I do know that my niece was really into them last year, and now considers them a bit babyish. She’s 14.
Do a lot of 13 year old girls buy condoms? Don’t answer that.
Spotted in Wythenshawe, home of the sexually active teeny bopper
Whilst trying to work out if I could get home from Gatwick this week (and whether friends and family would get to where they were going) I’ve started following a bunch of airports on Twitter.
Most of the time they’re the most up-to-date source of real-time information, and pretty much the first time I’ve seen twitter be of any use at all. The Manchester Airport feed though is….weird. Here’s what it sent to me when I started following it:
The unknown pleasure of finding out my flight is cancelled? Most of the reply messages to passengers are similarly weird:
And today- (did I mention this is the official twitter feed of a multi-national airport?) it started re-tweeting any old tat:
Has a Korean teenager broken into the control room at Manchester airport?
http://twitter.com/manairport
[Following a comment yesterday]
So my Top Gear advent calendar has the number 20 missing. OR DOES IT?!
I was up all night trying to locate the missing number, had Interpol on the phone, sent a tweet to Poirot and a pigeon to The Stig Himself in order to unravel the mystery.
Turns out it’s under the sticker.
Do you have hair that looks a little tired?
The terrorists have already won.
Problem solved!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have a cup of Jojoba with herb extracts.
A double underline; they mean business.
I’m not sure what offends me more, the suggestion that I would go tinkering with random underwear, or the fact they can’t spell “Boxers”.
Hanging’s too good for them.
