Kung-Fu Air

Nike have made a few shekels from a minor baseball player called Michael Jordan.

They got him to jump up fancy, took a photo, stuck it on a few pairs of shoes and boom! Mazooma in the bank.

air-jordan-series-future-2009
Air Jordan 

If my favourite Chinese trainer- FeiYue ever want to make the leap* from cheap canvas plimsoll to a major sporting brand, they’re going to need similar brand recognition.

Based on the kind of people who wear FeiYue right now, I’d say their main options for a Jordan-style tie-in logo are:

1) Manual labourers digging a ditch

men_at_work_air
Air Gong Ren

b) ironic indie-rocking hipsters

air ironic
Air Studied Pose 

or… iii) awesome kung-fu kicking monks from the planet DoubleHard.

air kungfu
Air I’m lying on a bunch of spears and what are you going to do about it?

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And on that bombshell

I’m leaving Shanghai, and leaving China.

verticals

Me and Emma are going to live in Manchester, we leave on December 7th*.

It’s been a great three years, and just feels like the right time to leave for me.

*So that means you’ve got 3 more Shoe Tuesdays

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How to have a meeting

I was in a meeting this morning, my only contribution was to stand up and nod my head slightly when somebody said my name. It was a productive 3 hours.

If you find yourself in a similar situation (common for foreign looking foreigners in China) you will need to know who to nod you head slightly at in order to get the most out of the meeting.

Spotting the top boss

When working out who the most important man (or woman!) ((just kidding, it’s a man)) looking at clothes isn’t much of a clue  in the room is.  drab clothes

If you watch the recent broadcast of the 60th anniversary of the CCP you’ll see that drab and cheap looking is the order of the day for leaders.

Spotting a fancy watch is no good either; don’t tell anyone, but there are 1 or 2 fake Rolexes knocking around in China (shhh!)

 

 

No, the best way to tell who is important is to look at the…

Seating Plan

For example, imagine you’ve just walked through the door to a meeting room and seen this:

chinese meeting

Who is the most important guy in the room? Probably the guy with the red robe and blue cloak right? Same in China. The most important guy sits facing the door in the middle.

Now let’s take a closer look at that table:

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How to shave

PB080001

PB080004 

Gillette are running these adverts in the back of taxis. As you can imagine I almost dropped my pad and paper trying to take notes.

I know the Asian chap tends towards more of a wisp than a beard, but surely the basic tecnhinque is common knowledge by now?

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Shoe Tuesday- giving you what you want.

Here on I Spy we devote every Tuesday to shoes. Why? Because it sounds funny- say it with me:

Shoe Tuesday

Shoooooooee Tuuuuuueeeesdayy

See?

Anyway, best crack on.

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South Korea’s got Seoul

Seoul 2009 001It costs 1,500RMB (150 quid) to fly return from Shanghai to Seoul right now.

Good eh? I went on Friday.

Seoul is a lovely place, nestled in the mountains, on a Sunday afternoon it feels like a sleepy little village compared to Shanghai.

The nightlife is good though- all little independent bars tucked away down alleys where if they don’t have the tune you ask for, they’ll download it.

I used to live in Korea for 3 or 4 years- I forget how long exactly, this is back when I used to drink too much.

Now I’m a little older and more sensible I try not to go too crazy- in fact I have a strict rule: once the sun comes up, no more shots.

Originally I’d planned to go to the wedding of an old workmate. But it turned out to be far away, and I had a hangover that could fell a tree so I just stayed in the city and stared at the increasingly bizarre outfits of the Korean metrosexual.

Seoul 2009 004

The guy in the his’n’hers pink sweatshirt is the butchest looking man in the photo

It’s terrifying how camp the Korean guys look these days, terrifying. Don’t get me wrong, they pull it off and the street fashions are, well, streets ahead of Shanghai. But the levels of camp are off the scale- two examples, the guy below, Bae Yong Joon is one of the biggest stars in the country.

This image is taken from his role as spokesman (honestly, it is a man) for a cosmetics company.

bae yong joon for faceshop

and this (here on youtube) is an advert for a cellphone featuring another two popular stars. Aside from wearing outfits made entirely out of tinfoil, they come within about one Banana Daquiri away from making out at the end of the ad.

Oh and did I mention that the phone they’re advertising is called “Magic Hole“?

If you’ve never been, I really recommend a trip to Seoul- if only for the fact that walking around the place makes you feel like a manlier version of Wesley Snipes.

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You couldn’t post comments if you were using a proxy before.

You can now.

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Baby on car

I’ve cropped the photo but you can rest assured, there wasn’t.

PB030008

See also- these car stickers when will they get it right?

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That’s November

magazine october 2009

Since Shopgirl was so nice about my magazine column this week I thought I’d put it up.

In windows you can click on that picture there to make it bigger / readable. On a Mac you probably have to drag it into some kind of magnifying glass icon or whatever. Bloody left-handers.

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Shoe Tuesday- Temperature drops, upgrade your socks

Due to a broken thermostat somewhere in Chinese heaven, the temperature recently dropped 8,000 degrees. On Halloween night I was dressed like this and sweating, today I’m in a sheepskin jumpsuit, 8 hats, sat under a hairdryer with my teeth chattering.

It’s so confusing that this morning I saw someone wearing summer shorts, a wifebeater vest and long thermal underwear. I’d show you a photo of him, but this is Tuesday. We look at shoes here on Tuesday, always have.

So here’s a similar confused young lady- riding line 2 in her summer flip-flops but beating the sudden cold snap with wooly socks. 

socks and flipflops

You might laugh now, but it’s the kind of quick thinking that we’re all going to need when the apocalypse comes.

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